


Let Me Whisper in Your Ear

by methuselah



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6096178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/methuselah/pseuds/methuselah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She hesitated as she reached for the doorbell. This wasn't the sort of thing she did regularly, but she needed the cash, and Ryan had spoken really highly of Blake, and if this went well, she could maybe not worry about paying her quarter of the rent for at least a month, and wouldn't that be worth it?</p><p>Gritting her teeth, she pushed the bell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Whisper in Your Ear

Her feet carefully avoided the puddles that were forming on the sidewalk. Her crimson converse did not offer adequate protection against the unexpected downpour, socks and shoes soaking up what She hesitated as she reached for the doorbell. This wasn't the sort of thing she did regularly, but she needed the cash, and Ryan had spoken really highly of Blake, and if this went well, she could maybe not worry about paying her quarter of the rent for at least a month, and wouldn't that be worth it?

Gritting her teeth, she pushed the bell. 

She heard a thump and then a loud yowl that she was seventy percent sure came from a cat, but couldn't quite tell. There were heavy tramping footsteps, and then the door opened with a creak, stopping suddenly as the chain pulled taut. Macey found herself looking into the chest area of a person who loomed a good foot and a half over herself. Her eyes traced the crack of the doorway up, and she found herself looking into the most beautiful blue eyes she'd ever seen. Maybe it was the way the noon light hit them while the rest of the figure's face was in shadow, but Macey felt a jump beneath her skin. Her palms started to itch.

"Who are you?" asked the figure, the voice far more feminine than Macey was expecting from the imposingly tall person. 

"I'm Macey? Didn't Ryan tell you I was coming?" Macey looked over her shoulder as if she could see Ryan there, and turned back, mumbling, "He said he'd tell you I was coming over, I swear to god, I'm going to kill that fuckin--"

"Oh, Macey!" She shut the door. Macey could hear the slid and click of the chain lock before she pulled the door back open. "I'm sorry, Ryan told me you were coming, he just didn't say when." She leaned on the door to push it open wider, and Macey caught a glimpse of arm muscles bulging beneath an old and worn Star Wars t-shirt. Blake was wearing a pair of carpenter jeans that had clearly seen better days. Her hair was cropped short to her head, and looked a bit haphazard as though Blake had done it herself and then proceeded to sleep restlessly for a week straight. "Come on in," she said. 

Macey stepped carefully inside and took a good look around. The house was a wreck, to put it lightly. Newspapers lined the windows, giving the entire place an eerie darkness. The floor was almost completely covered with piles of various things that Macey couldn't completely identify. Blake pushed the door shut behind them, locking the deadbolt and sliding the chain back into place. Macey saw a pile of twined newspapers that had been pushed back in Blake's efforts to open the door. The room had a heavy smell that made the air feel weighed down. She could see a path among the piles of junk that led to what looked like a living room, and another that might be a kitchen based on the fact that the piles in that direction looked more dish shaped and also were on the top of some sort of counter. 

"So this is it," said Blake, face half-hidden in the gloom. "You sure you still want to do this?" 

"It's why I'm here, isn't it?" asked Macey, but she felt her stomach sinking. 

"You don't have to. I know it's pretty terrible," Blake sounded guilty, like this was somehow her fault. "I managed to clear off the sofa so I could have a place to sleep, and that took me the better part of a day."

"This was your, uhhhh, who's house again?" Macey asked.

"My nan," Blake replied, rubbing the palm of one hand with the thumb of another, fingers laced together. 

"Were you close?" asked Macey. 

"Not really?" said Blake. "I mean, I saw her a lot when I was a kid, and we got along well enough. Better than with my other grandparents or my uncle, but I hadn't seen her in months. I'd try to visit her in the nursing home, but I lived three hours from here, and it was easy to make excuses, you know? It wasn't like we had a lot to talk about."

Macey reached out and patted Blake on the shoulder, then pulled her arm back awkwardly, not knowing if that was the appropriate reaction. "Well, in any case, I'm sorry." 

"Don't be sorry," Blake said, trying a smile that looked only two thirds fake. "I mean, she wasn't well. She's in a better place, I'm sure of it. So, do you want to see the rest of the house? And then you can let me know your decision."

Macey nodded. "Sounds good." 

Blake led her through the kitchen side. Dirty dishes were precariously piled to shoulder height on a filthy counter. The sink was mostly empty, and was halfway filled with grey water. A small pile of clean dishes lay in the other sink. "I tried to get started in here," explained Brienne, "but cleaning off year old grease was probably not the best way to get enthusiastic about a project." 

Macey would have laughed, but she was trying to hold her breath. This room was far more foul smelling than the entryway had been. Blake showed her a small bedroom on the left. The door, if it could have been closed, was a strange accordian partition that didn't seem like it would function very well as a door at all. Macey thought she could make out the form of a bed under heaping piles of clothes and papers, but she wasn't sure. 

On the right was what looked like it had once been a hallway, but was covered floor to ceiling with rickety stacks of books. Hardcovers, paperbacks, magazines, folders were stacked relatively neatly, with the biggest items on the bottom, as though they'd been moved and organized from another location. 

"There's a bathroom back there," said Blake, pointing to a barely visible doorway, half blocked by the gigantic pile. "Damn, I left the flashlight upstairs when you knocked."

"Don't worry about it," said Macey, fishing around in her purse until she found her cell phone. Activating the flash as a flashlight, she saw the edge of a white door. 

"I'm not looking forward to going in there," said Blake. "Okay, this pile of books is in a hallway that connects to the other side of the house, but since it's closed, we're going to have to go back and go around." There was no space for Blake to pass Macey in the narrow path, so Macey headed back toward the front door.

"It wasn't always like this," Blake said quietly. 

"Oh?" Macey, voice also soft.

"When I was a kid, it was always messy, but not like this. I loved coming here. I could always stay in here and read or play Nintendo games if I didn't want to play with the other kids. It sucks seeing it like this." They reached the door and Blake took the lead, this way heading through what looked like a dining room. There was another table, covered in trash and wrappers, old toys, and knicknacks. There was what could have been a piano buried under a stack of dolls. "She was always a collector, but it never got this bad." Blake paused, and Macey heard her breath hitch. "Now I just feel guilty. I mean, how did I not know it looked like this?"

"I doubt she'd want you to feel bad about it," said Macey. "She obviously loved you a lot, and wanted you to have a part of her with you."

"...I guess," replied Blake, not sounding convinced. "Anyway, that's the dining room," she said, vaguely gesturing behind her. "And this is the big room," she said, pushing open a glass door. 

The first thing Macey noticed was that this was definitely the room Blake had been working in. She could see the green tile on the floor, leading in a widening path toward a cleared-off sofa. There were a few overflowing boxes and filled trash bags. 

The second thing she noticed was that the room was actually lit. There was no yellowing newspaper pasted to the windows. The windows in the back corner were floor to ceiling and the sills were covered in glass trinkets and baubles that probably would have sparkled if not for the thick layer of dust they were buried under. 

Blake turned to look at Macey. "So, this is the house. There's an upstairs too, but I don't think it's as bad. She couldn't move around as well her last few years at home, and those stairs are really steep."

"You haven't been upstairs yet?" Macey asked.

"I've only been here a day and a half, and the door's pretty blocked. I haven't gotten to it yet, but I will."

"Alright," said Macey. 

"So do you want to do this?" asked Blake.

"It's a lot worse than Ryan described it," said Macey. 

Blake pulled her mouth into a line, and nodded. "I understand."

"I mean, I don't have any experience with something this big. I helped my mom clean out my older brother's bedroom after he got married and I helped Ryan's grandma with her attic, but I've never done anything to this extent. But, I'm willing to help, under a few conditions." 

"What are they?" asked Blake.

"First, I'm not doing this by myself. If I'm here working, you're gonna be helping me too. This is way too big of a project for one person. I might even have to ask Levi to come over sometime to help us out, especially if we've got to lift something."

"I... I don't think Levi likes me very much," replied Blake.

"You know my brother Levi? Oh wait, of course you do, I forgot you know Ryan from that fucking hellhole of a message board."

"Now, that's a bit harsh, but yeah. We met through that 'fucking message board'." 

"Well, maybe Ryan can help us. You two get along well enough, yeah?"

"I'm not sure I'm going to need too much help lifting furniture, but sure, Ryan can help out if we need help. And your other conditions?"

"Just one. You've got to promise to keep paying me until this job's done, you fire me, or I quit. I can't tell you ahead of time this is worth a certain amount of hours worth of work. It might take two weeks, it might take a month, it might take more. I can't just promise 3 afternoons and be done with it." 

"That sounds fair. I told Ryan to tell you an amount per hour, does that sound reasonable?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

"You ready? Let's get started with that pile of books in the hallway." 

\--

"Yeah," said Macey, opening up the box of pizza and folding the top beneath it before placing it on the counter. "She can't even use the bathroom at that place; the door's blocked by a pile of books."

"Where does she.. uh... shower?" asked Levi, wandering out to the kitchen, shirtless and barefoot. He was wearing his favorite skinny jeans with the giant hole in the crotch that showed off his Green Lantern boxers. 

"The neighbors are letting her right now. Once she gets the rooms with plumbing cleared out, she's going to get the water turned back on, but right now it could leak for days and she wouldn't even know. Hey, can you let Ryan know I brought dinner?"

"HEY RYAN," yelled Levi. Macey plugged her ears reflexively. "PIZZA!" 

Macey grabbed a square piece and threw it at his chest, where it stuck. "Why do I ever ask you for help at all?" 

Levi grabbed a paper plate off a stack on the counter, and leaned forward, letting the pizza fall carefully to the plate. He looked up and grinned. "Love you too, sis." 

"We're going to get complaints again."

"Hey, at least this time it won't be about the thumping noises at all hours of the night."

"You wouldn't be so amused by that story if you were the one who had to listen to Mrs. Miller complain for 45 minutes."

"Don't kid yourself, Mace. He totally would." Ryan came in through the door, scratching his head, messing up his already curly hair. "Did I hear you brought home pizza?" he asked, draping his arm around Levi's shoulder, and bringing the other one up to stroke his faint six pack. 

"Ew, gross. Boys, keep your pervy homo shit in the bedroom okay?" Macey said with a smile.

"And get pizza on the bedspread?" replied Ryan. "I don't think so." He pulled Levi around to kiss him, and Levi had to expertly shift his plate around to keep it from splatting against the floor. 

"I don't know who you think you are, you freak, but get your grubby hands off of me." He grabbed a paper towel and rubbed the pizza grease off his chest. 

Macey scooped up a couple pieces of pizza onto her plate, and headed toward the sofa. Levi followed while Ryan got his own pizza ready.

"By the way, thanks for the pizza, Mace. What do we owe you?"

"Don't worry about it, guys. Blake paid me already for my first day of work, so this is my way of saying thanks to Ryan for suggesting me. And, you," she said poking him gently on the nose, "you just get lucky because I like you."

"Did you head over to Blake's today? Is that what I'm hearing?" Ryan wandered over to the sofa and sat on the edge, pulling his legs up across Levi's lap. 

"Yeah, thanks for setting that up." 

"No problem. How's Blake's place looking? It's really close to here, isn't it?" Levi shoved Ryan's feet to the floor, and Ryan responded by putting them back up on the sofa and digging his toes into Levi's bare stomach.

"Yeah, like fifteen minutes. God, that place is fucking terrible. I honestly don't know how long it's gonna take to get that place finished, or even if we're going to be able to do it."

"That bad, huh?" said Ryan, ignoring Levi's giggles and attempts to push his socked feet away. 

"Yeah, everything's just piled with crap, and coated in layers of dust. Apparently she lived on her own until a couple years ago when she went to live at a nursing home. I guess whoever came to pick her up didn't care enough to let anyone else know about how she'd been living." Macey carefully started picking all the mushrooms off her slices of pizza. "Did you know Blake used to live around here as a kid?"

"Really?" said Ryan as Levi squirmed his way down to the floor, giving Ryan the space to extend his legs fully. Which he did before taking a giant bite of pizza, covered in mushrooms, onions, sausage and pepperoni.

"Yeah, she said she used to visit her grandma's house when she was a kid to avoid kids she didn't like." 

"Well, that's some information I didn't know. He must have moved before high school, because that's when I met him... I mean her. She was definitely beyond high school road trip back in the day." 

Levi turned his head sharply toward Ryan at that. Macey couldn't see his face, though.

"I thought you guys met up once?" Macey leaned forward, dropping a handful of mushrooms onto her brother's plate.

"Yeah, but that was freshman year of college. Blake decided to go to the state university. I always thought it was to get get away from their parents. Blake's dad was kind of a shithead, from what Blake told me." 

"Can you blame him?" asked Levi, quietly. 

"Oh, come on Levi. You can't still be upset about that? That was five fucking years ago," replied Ryan. 

"She fucking lied to you, Ryan. Can't you fucking see that? Your entire knowledge of Blake was based on something patently untrue." Levi put his untouched plate on the coffee table and hoisted himself onto the sofa. 

"Levi," said Ryan with a firm edge in his voice Macey couldn't ever remember hearing before. "We've talked about this." 

Levi sighed and stood up. "I just remembered, I told Hunter I'd play League with him tonight." He hopped over the back of the couch and headed to his bedroom, closing the door noisily. 

"What was that about?" asked Macey. 

Ryan shrugged and shook his head. "Levi just really doesn't like Blake. So, I was thinking, though, we should have Blake over for supper sometime."

Macey looked at Levi's abandoned plate, and back to Ryan. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Ryan didn't answer right away. He scratched his beard and exhaled slowly. "I don't think Blake's got many friends in town, if any. And I know as soon as their grandmother's place is set up, Blake's just going to work on hi-.. her programming. I visited Blake once at college before Levi and I were even dating. He can get over it." 

"Did you and Blake....?" Macey asked.

"I mean..." said Ryan, looking at the ceiling. He sighed again. "Macey, I don't want to get into it right now."

Macey gave him a skeptical look. "Okay, but Ryan, you're gonna have to let me know what this fucking deal is before I'm gonna invite Blake to anything, okay? Levi may be a prick, but he's my brother, and I need to know if I've got to have his back or kick him in the nuts, you know?"

Ryan nodded. "I've got to talk to Blake first, though. It's Blake's story as much as mine and they've got a right to know who I'm sharing it with." He took a bite a of pizza, and chewed. Smiling, he gave Macey's leg a little kick. "Levi's a lucky dude, you know?"

"Mrmph?" asked Macey around a mouthful of pizza. 

"You're always looking out for him, and protecting him even when he doesn't always deserve it. I thought the older brother was supposed to be the one watching out for his little sis." 

Macey smiled. "That's a sexist stereotype," she said. "And a bit ageist. Anyway, Levi's got my back too. Remember the time he kicked Jeffrey's ass because he wouldn't stop asking me out?"

Renly choked back a laugh, and grabbed the glass of water sitting behind him on the table to stop himself from coughing around the pizza. "Wasn't that kid like three years younger than him, though?" 

"Yeah, he was a grade behind me. I must have been a freshman that year. God, that kid was an asshole though. Normally, I'm not a big fan of violence, but it was nice to see him the next day with a black eye. Did you know he tried to friend me last year on Facebook?"

\---  
Macey texted Blake the next time she was heading over with her estimated time of arrival, so Blake was waiting by the door. 

Macey tried not to stare at her as they exchanged pleasantries and then as she followed her to the back room where they had quit working last time. She couldn't figure out why Levi was so jealous of her. As far as she knew, Levi was the one with bisexual tendencies. Ryan had long ago given him the okay to make out with anyone he liked at parties, and drunk Levi tended to enjoy touching tongues with any human over the age of 18. And it wasn't like she was especially attractive. If Macey was being honest, she was definitely on what many would consider the ugly side. Her teeth were crooked and seemed too large for her face, and her nose had a slight bend, like she'd gotten hit in the face and hadn't had it set properly. Her eyes were fucking amazing, but she doubted they were the cause of Levi's anxiety. His own eyes were only a slightly less vibrant shade of blue, and there was a fair chance Blake's were contacts in any case. Seriously. Who has eyes that were that blue? Fucking ridiculous. 

"Macey?" Blake asked. 

"Oh, sorry," said Macey. "What was that?" 

"I said I was thinking we'd keep working in here since that's where we made the most progress yesterday, unless you had a better plan."

"Oh, yeah, sounds good. Although, the sooner we clean out the kitchen, the sooner you can get the water turned back on."

Blake shook her head. "There's a bathroom upstairs, as well as the blocked one in the hallway. I don't want to turn the water on until all of them are clear." 

"Fair enough. Do you want me to keep picking through the trash over here?"

"Yeah, that sounds good," replied Blake. "Any clothes or garbage can get trashed, but make sure you ask me before you throw away any of her collectibles. Some of them might still be worth something."

Blake turned to the sofa and started carefully packing rows of salt and pepper shakers into a filing box that was labeled "knickknacks" in a no nonsense, squarish handwriting. 

They worked in silence for a few minutes and Macey found herself trying to think of stupid questions to ask Blake. Blake wasn't the most talkative person Macey'd ever met, but there was something about Blake's voice, Macey felt like she could listen to her talk forever. 

Macey caught herself thinking things like "I could listen to Blake talk forever" and had to stop from punching herself in the face. This was a bad idea. Getting involved with an employer was never a good idea. Granted, Blake wouldn't be her employer forever. Maybe it would be worth it to just stick it out until they finished with the house, and then see what happened from there. Was Blake even into girls? Macey made a mental note to ask Ryan the next time Levi wasn't around. Also, there was the Levi factor. What the hell was his problem with Blake. She seemed nice enough. He and Ryan had been dating for the better part of two years, it was definitely time for any residual feelings of jealousy to wear off. And Ryan was usually the last person to incite those feelings in Levi. Levi tended to be possessive of what he cared about, but Ryan was probably the most trustworthy person on the planet, at least as far as Levi was concerned.

"So, Ryan said you're thinking of staying here after you're done cleaning it out?" asked Macey, picking up handfuls of papers and shoving them haphazardly into a garbage bag. 

"Yeah, I think so," answered Blake. "I was just living in my old college town doing freelance programming, and I can do that just as well from here, rent-free. I hope it's not too much of a pain to hook up the internet though."

"Well, even if the internet is an issue, it's probably easier than selling the house." 

Blake nodded. "Also, this is within commuting distance of the city. If I can find a better job, I could alway sell this place and use it to help pay for a new one." She looked around the room, at the polished beams of the ceiling to the overgrown vegetation filling the backyard just beyond the windows. "Not that I'd want to leave this place. It may not look so great now, but this place was home when home wasn't a home, you know?" Macey didn't know how to respond, so she didn't say anything. She thought Blake had finished, and turned back to her work when Blake said softly, "I'm sort of glad... if this place was perfect when I came back, I don't know if I could have handled it. But this... it's like penance. It's like I'm doing it for her." She swallowed audibly, and then gave a little halfhearted cough to cover it. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional on you," she said.

"You don't have to be sorry," Macey replied. "I think this is exactly the sort of situation where it's okay to be emotional. It's sort of expected, actually." 

Blake sniffed. "Yeah, I guess so." 

Macey stood up and walked over to the sofa. She put her hand on Blake's knee. "Blake. I want you to know that I'm here for you, okay? I know this is a rough time, but you can always find a listening ear in me, okay?" She pulled Blake into a hug. 

Blake was tense for a moment. Macey worried she'd overstepped her bounds, and that this wasn't what Blake wanted or needed right now at all. But then Blake relaxed, and Macey felt her arms reach around her waist. Blake pulled her close and took in a shaking breath, then sat back. "Thanks, Mace." 

\--

Macey had barely flopped onto her bed before she was calling Sasha. Her back ached, and her arms felt like she'd spent the last four days straight at the gym, but it was worth it. She could tell she was making progress. The phone rang and rang before Sasha's polite voice implored her to please leave a message after the tone. Macey pressed the red button on her phone's screen, and stretched, groaning. She looked over at the stack of textbooks on her desk. She rolled over and faced the wall instead. She didn't have the energy to deal with them right now.

She almost considered ignoring the tentative knock on her door, but instead said "Come in, Ryan." 

"How do you always know when it's me?" asked Ryan, stepping across the floor and sitting at the foot of her bed. 

"Like it would ever enter Levi's head to knock? Please." 

Ryan smiled. "Fair enough." He picked up one of her pillows, a fluffy pink one covered in fuzz and began idly picking at the covering. 

Macey used her sore arms to lever herself into a sitting position. "So what's up?"

"I just heard you come home, and was wondering how your day was," he said. 

Macey cocked her head and raised an eyebrow.

"Fine," he sighed. "I was wondering how Blake was doing. They don't have very good reception at their place, and I haven't heard from them in a few days. Losing family members is hard." Ryan's older brother had died in a freak car crash a few years earlier. Macey always remembered Ryan looking up to Robert. Robert was everything Ryan wasn't, rugged, brawny, captain of the football team, a stud who got with all the ladies. He was a decade or so older than Ryan, just the right age that his legend had yet to fade when Ryan got to high school. Ryan had been quiet, thoughtful kid, still was to some extent even after he'd come out of his shell. Robert's death had crushed Ryan for a long time. 

Macey nodded. "I think she'll be okay," she said, realizing it's lack of logic as she said it. How does someone live in this world and continue to be okay? "I think she's lonely, though. She needs to get out of that horrible house." Macey folded her arms and looked pointedly at Ryan. "I wish I could bring her here." 

"I don't think that would be a good idea," he said. "Levi wouldn't like that."

"Yeah. I think I figured that one out," she said. "You going to clue me in any time soon? I don't like being the only one not on the same page as everyone else." 

Ryan sighed, and looked pointedly at Macey's collage of Helena Bonham Carter instead of answering. Honestly, some of Levi's dramatics had rubbed off on him over the years. 

"I can't tell you the whole story, but I can tell you part of it."

"Will it explain why Levi turns into a giant pile of angsty jello whenever Blake's name is mentioned?" 

"Probably," replied Ryan.

"Then spill."

"Okay, so, you remember that message board Levi and I used to go on for that shitty RPG we were so invested in?" 

"Oh god, how could I forget? Levi talked about nothing but that fucking game for months, and then when he finally shut up about it it was to whine about how he got kicked from that fucking message board."

"Yep, that's the one. Anyway, I was the one who got into it first. I visited the message board when I first played the game, before I lent it to Levi. Well, before he took it and kept it and refused to give it back and I had to get a new copy and start a new save game and anything. Not that I'm still upset about that fuckhead doing that or anything." 

"Obviously not," said Macey. 

"Well, before Levi was on the message board, I really clicked with this kid, Blake. We had a lot in common. We played the same class, and had a lot of similar tactics, and beyond that we both just sort of ... had an air of not-belonging that made us really attracted to each other."

"And by attracted, you mean 'we were drawn together by circumstance and became very good friends' not 'star crossed lovers', right?" asked Macey. 

"Well," said Ryan. "You've got to remember, that was a very very long time ago. But, yeah, we decided to 'date' over the internet. It didn't last long, and there were clear reasons that I'm not going to get into why it didn't work out. But, long story short, Levi's still not super comfortable with the fact that I'm still quite close with one of my 'exes'." 

"Well," said Macey. "That sounds rather petty. Even for Levi." 

Ryan looked down at the pillow, and rubbed it with his fingers, obviously avoiding eye contact. "There's more," he said. "But it's not really my place to say." 

"Oh gods, could you be any more dramatic?" said Macey, exasperated. "Just spill. You're halfway there already."

"But I was a part of that story," he said. "It was mine to tell. This... it really isn't. Blake will tell you eventually, I imagine." 

"Ooh, cryptic." 

\--

It was a week or so later when Macey brought the topic up to Blake. They had made what Macey considered to be good progress on the house. They'd gotten most of the non-furniture items out of the big room, and they were working their way forward through the house toward the front door. They'd made it about halfway through the dining room. They had gotten into a good rhythm together. Macey would sort through all the trash and more generic items, occasionally putting one or two aside at a time for Blake to look through. Blake went through all the more sentimental items and the important-looking paperwork. Most of what they had went either directly into the trash or a set of boxes destined for donation to a local second hand store. 

"Ryan told me why Levi has a problem with you," said Macey, breaking the silence. 

Blake looked up, and Macey could see panic in her eyes. She worried that she'd said the wrong thing. "What did he say?" asked Blake, carefully. 

"He told me about how you and he dated for a while, back before he was out," Macey said, trying to put Blake at ease.

"Oh? Is that all he said?" asked Blake. Blake's voice was deeper than usual, scratchy. Macey wondered if Blake was maybe catching a cold. She made a mental note to wash her hands later.

"Yeah, that was all he would tell me. But I mean, it's not that big of a deal to have dated Ryan. I mean, even I did it." 

"You dated Ryan?" Blake bit back a snicker. "... I just don't see it."

"It was his Senior year. .... I was a freshman or a sophomore. He needed a date for prom, so I told him I'd go with him."

"And how did that go?" asked Blake.

"He danced with Levi all night." Blake snickered. "He was terrible at pretending to be in the closet," said Macey. She wanted to add a comment at her own inadequacies when it came to remaining in the previously mentioned closet. 

Or lean over and kiss the girl with the beautiful blue eyes right on her oversized lips. 

Instead she invited Blake over for dinner. 

"Are you sure?" said Blake. "I don't want to inconvenience you."

"Don't worry, it's not hard to throw an extra pack of ramen into the pot and call it dinner. Besides, you need to get out of this house. And I know Ryan would be super happy to see you again."

"Are you sure?"

Macey gave her a look to indicate she wasn't down with Blake second guessing herself. "Levi's got class, it was just going to be me and Ryan anyway. The more the merrier, I always say. Or would say, if I had friends." 

Blake smiled. "Now I know that one's not true. But, sure. I'd love to come over to your place for dinner."

\--

They sat awkwardly in silence around the table. True to form, Ryan had cooked up a few packets of ramen. and had even added vegetables in honor of their guest. Macey sat awkwardly, picking at a cherry tomato without taking any bites of it. 

"So, how long has it been since you guys have seen each other?" asked Macey, trying to start a conversation. 

"It was our freshman year of college, wasn't it Blake?" Ryan was twirling his ramen around his fork and was avoiding eye contact with his former beau. 

Blake blushed hard. Her ears burned crimson and her face flushed against her freckles. She nodded, hunching broad shoulders down in a vain attempt to make herself less visible. 

"Well, I think it's great that you guys are still friends."

".... Yeah," said Ryan. 

"The greatest," mumbled Blake. 

They had a few more half-starts at a conversation over dinner, but nothing really blossomed. Macey wondered what these two had spent so much time talking about on the internet if they weren't even capable of holding halfway decent table conversations.

When supper was over, Ryan quickly volunteered to clean the kitchen, a sure sign something was definitely wrong. Ryan never clean the kitchen unless Macey paid him or Levi bribed him with other means.

"Do you want to come see my bedroom?" asked Macey. "I can show you those collages I was telling you about." 

"I'd like that," said Blake.

Macey led her down the hallway to the doorway with the pink and yellow flower painted on it. "Did you do that yourself?" asked Blake. 

"Yeah," said Macey. "It's nothing special, though. I just got bored one afternoon, and that's what happened."

She pushed open the door, revealing her inner sanctuary. This was the place she liked the most in the whole house. The walls were plastered comfortably with pictures of movie stars and teeth and planets and anything else that managed to capture her interest for more than half a minute. It was probably a good thing her camera had broken last semester, or there would likely have been a little section dedicated to Blake, and way her face made the most interesting lines, and how her face looked like it was made from disjointed pieces of broken things, but they looked like such happy broken things when she smiled. 

Macey flopped backwards on to her bed, feeling the rough texture of the afghan that was folded at the foot of her bed on her bare legs. She was wearing shorts and an oversized purple sweatshirt. Blake was wearing the same sort of thing she'd worn every day Macey had seen her, a long sleeved button down shirt that was at least one size too big for her frame, and mens jeans with carpenters pockets swen into the sides.

Blake stood awkwardly at the foot of Macey's bed, clearly unsure as to what to do next. Macey sat up and patted the bed beside her. "Blake... there's been something I've been meaning to tell you," she said. 

Blake sat down, looking worried. "What is it? Is it about the house? Are you ti--" Blake's words were cut off as Macey leaned in to kiss her on the lips. 

Blake pulled away so quickly Macey almost fell forward onto the bed. "Oh shit, Blake I'm sorry. I thought ... fuck. I don't know ... I thought you might like it."

"Macey, ... I would like it," said Blake. "But there's some things you don't know about me. And if we were to start something, even just a kiss, it would feel wrong. Like it was under false pretenses."

"Well, I'm listening."

Blake took a deep breath, and cleared her throat. "I never know where to start with this." She paused for a long moment, looking at the ceiling. "Macey, I'm not a girl." Macey must have looked like she was about to say something, but Blake cut her off. "I mean, yeah, I've got a female body, for now, but in my head, where it really matters, I've always been a boy. I don't think my nan understood entirely, but she always accepted me as who I was. I told her I wanted people to start calling me Blake, and I never heard her call me by my old name ever again, not even on the phone to other members of my family. And that just meant so much to me.

"My dad wasn't okay with it, not at all. He asked me a couple times why I couldn't just be a lesbian. I couldn't get through to him that that's not how it works. He told me he'd stop paying for my college if I started transitioning. I didn't have any money so I went through college as a girl. And after college, I couldn't find proper work. I was mostly just doing freelance programming, but that sort of thing doesn't offer any insurance, and I couldn't afford to see a therapist or an endocrinologist. But then my nan left me this place, and a chance to start over, and I'd be a complete fool if I didn't take her up on it." 

"Does Ryan... Did he?" asked Macey, not able to formulate a cohesive sentence. 

"When I met Ryan, I was stealth on the message boards. It wasn't lying, no matter what Levi calls it. It was nice, there was one place in the world where everyone called me 'he' and no one had unrealistic expectations of me or where I was going to be in the world.

"I mean, I told him before we met up. There was no way I was going to hide some information that was this important. But, it was also important that he knew me as 'him' first, and not 'her.'

"I wouldn't be telling you all this if I didn't trust you. But, the point in my life where I'm willing to be anyone's girlfriend, if that's even an option that you were thinking about pursuing, is long past."

Blake looked down at the bedspread, long fingers picking at the fluff from that silly old pink pillow. 

"Sorry. That was long. ... " There was a long pause. "You can say what you're thinking now." 

Macey scooted closer to him, and lifted his chin so she could look him in they eyes. "Do you really want to know what i'm thinking?"

Blake's eyebrows furrowed, but then he nodded hesitantly. 

"I'm thinking I might be falling in love with a boy named Blake." 

This time, Macey didn't even have to move. Blake leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I have always seen Brienne possibly as a trans guy. I wanted to explore it without having the muck of Westeros ideals and social norms cluttering it up. I changed the character names, so, sorry if that's confusing. I thought it was pretty obvious who was who, but I guess not. Maybe I'll edit it some day.


End file.
